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Dear US Postal Service,

Your new herb postage is quite lovely. Really. I'm very excited about using it. The polar bear was cute and all, but got a bit dull. However, if you are going to market to my feminine side, how about some girly drinks? Yes. Yes. I know. The conservatives will go bonkers. Little old ladies will faint dead away. But, you know what, USPS? I buy lots and lots of stamps. And I write to lots and lots of people who would also enjoy buying something fun and frivolous on a stamp. You kinda need us right now. Just think about, okay?

Postally Yours,
PostMuse